It's time for a makeover!
Potter's House is getting a makeover... our living room is/has gotten a makeover... our backyard has most definitely gotten a makeover! (Pictures of all soon to come!)
So, I was just talking to Melissa and Connally and I was telling them about this new website I found, and they suggested that I start blogging about all the things I find on the internet... and so I think I will! Blog Makeover commences!!! And for all of you RSS readers (I'm not judging because I am one of you), click the link and check out my new layout. Let me know what you think!
I'm going to start with my new favorite site: 1saleaday!!!
This site has a new sale in 5 different categories every 24 hours. At 11 pm central every day the sale changes. The 5 categories are 1saleaday (random objects), wireless, family, watch, and jewelry. I bought Guitar Hero III with a wireless guitar and gig bag for $19.99!
So today for instance, in one of the categories there is a 12.2 megapixel Kodak Easyshare camera that retails for $149.95 but is on sale for $59.99. Sometimes there are items up for free and all you have to pay for is shipping! I've used it on multiple occasions and I have never had any problems with any of the products.
Also, for those of you who have not seen these little dittys yet... prepare to have your mind blown...
Yes... TOMS wedges. Why were these not out before my wedding? Lame.
And I couldn't end a blog post without some musica!!!
Check it!
Coffey Anderson- Better Today (he instructs on how to play the song at first... I just like the acoustic version better than the original but if you would like to hear the original... here's a link for that! Piano Version)
I can't believe that today is the last day of 2009.
Absolutely blows my mind.
This year has been full of big moments for me. I started dating the most amazing man, I graduated from college, watched my brother graduate from high school, got a big girl job, got engaged to said amazing man, got rid of the big girl job, got a job doing something I absolutely love, helped plan an amazing women's conference, got married, celebrate my best friend getting engaged...
This year has been full of milestones. I gained a ton of family who are all absolutely wonderful. My new extended family is nothing like my extended family.
I could never have imagined what God had in store for me this year. I think of celebrating New Years in St. Louis with friends and just being carefree and excited for the future. It's crazy to think about how much has changed in just a year. It hasn't been easy, by any means. I don't really like change. I like being comfortable and knowing what's going to happen and when. I like to have a schedule and stick to it. This year has definitely tested me in that respect. I have constantly been in transition. Trying to figure out how to go from having been single for a very long time to being in a relationship, figuring out what to do post graduation, moving twice, having two jobs since May...
But I couldn't be happier. I have been stretched much further than I thought possible. I have been stressed to the point of having hives. I have at many times just wanted everything to to stop. But I am a better person because of it all. I have learned a lot about myself and I am still learning.
I am so excited for the coming year and everything God has in store. I know that things probably won't be slowing down anytime soon (Brett and I have only slept in our house 3 nights since the wedding) but I am learning to deal with that. So for now, I am going to eat breakfast with my family, play Wii Resort, and not think about all the thank you cards I have to write. I love you all!
Light by The Rocket Summer... such a perfect song! Check out the lyrics:
All I needed was a light in the darkest place
I've ever been in all my life
As I try to find my way in the changing seasons of my life
And my eyes don't see the things I'm living for have been course
Are they done? Are they just?
They give in
I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough
I'm young enough to know that I can ever be too old enough to trust you
Higher (and higher)
I want to go away with you
Some say your fire (your fire)
Is through
But I don't wanna think that way
So you lost your job and your girl
And it crushed your soul
And while you're standing at the fork in the road
So you wet your finger hold it up
There's no wind there telling you where you should go
So you try, try to trust
While you're bedridden
I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough
I'm young enough to know that I can never be too old enough to trust you
Higher (and higher)
I want to go away with you
Some say your fire (your fire)
Is through
But I don't...
Wanna...
I am yours, do what you wish
I am yours, I am yours and I know this
Whatever happens next is in your hands, in your plans
Nothing less
In everything there is a choice
Through the joy, through the pain I will rejoice
I am yours, do what you wish
I am yours, I am yours and I know this
Save me, cuz I need it
And I can't help but feel desperate
My desires seem to be coming to their endings
But I will trust it's not the end
But a great beginning
I think I've discovered the reason I haven't blogged since May... I mostly blogged when I was procrastinating something. I haven't had anything to really put off since then. But now, with less than 5 days until my wedding there are approximately 13 trillion things to do, none of which interest me in the slightest.
It's not that I don't want to get married... I'm just more excited about the marriage than the wedding. A good problem to have, I do believe.
I have been such a sap lately. I know it is partially because of the extremely high amounts of stress but it's just been out of control. I think part of it is also because I know my world as I know it is about to drastically change. I've spent most of the afternoon looking through pictures from my birth until now. Pictures of my family, best friends I haven't talked to in years, grandparents who have passed on, little league sports, birthdays, Christmases, Halloweens,...
It's weird. It's a weird feeling that my name is going to change. That is such a huge part of my identity (I think it probably is for most people). It's just strange. Unexplainable to say the least.
I've really been trying hard the last few days to not stress. Yesterday I just couldn't stop crying. I think it is in part to the fact that I haven't been sleeping well for the last few months. I am just exhausted. I knew we should've eloped.
Next semester I should be able to blog more. I'm going to have to work at it but I'll do my best. For now, I will leave you with some ear candy... I apologize for them being sappy... I've been in wedding playlist mode for weeks now... gross, I know. :)
Lemonade by Chris Rice (where the title came from)
Summer Song by Wavorly
Walk With You by Edwin McCain (I'm dancing with my dad to this at the wedding!)
Mama's Song by Carrie Underwood (I gifted this to my mom on iTunes... she's going to cry. I did too.)
Sweet and Low (acoustic) by Augustana
I am having my last office hours for GAL right now. In a little over an hour I will be starting the last class of my undergraduate degree. That is so weird. Over the last week or so I've had a lot of "lasts." My last tests, last homework assignments, last papers. It's definitely a bittersweet feeling. The littlest things have become really emotional. I really won't miss having to circle the parking lot for 25 minutes looking for a spot but I'll miss doing the victory dance when I find one. I'll miss walking through campus and seeing tons of people I know. I won't miss staying up all night writing papers. I won't miss sitting through hours and hours of lecture. I think it will really set in come fall when I don't go back to school. That is going to be really weird.
I'm not all that excited about graduation. Graduation ceremonies are boring. I don't even want to go so I feel guilty inviting people. I guess I just don't see the ceremony as that big of a deal. I would totally not go if that were an option.
I'll be starting my job the week after graduation. I'll be moving in with Lee Ellen starting next week. It's crazy how things have fallen into place. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and just thinking about how the last few months have been such a whirlwind. The most encouraging thing about it is that there is no way I had anything to do with it. What I mean by that is I could not have planned this out. If someone had come up to me a year ago and told me what my life would be like now I would have laughed. To see how everything has worked out is such a testament to God's plan for my life. I love it. It feels really great to be in His will.
It is such a relief to be able to let myself be excited about things now that I know I'm staying here. I'll be working with the board of directors for The Magdalene Project. We're putting on a conference in September so there will be tons of planning to do and I'm really excited about that. I've been trying really hard to not get my hopes up about things, just in case, so it has been really refreshing to be able to get really excited about stuff. :)
Well, I'm off to class. I am pretty stoked about it being my last class, however, I am convinced it is going to be extremely painful. Art history lecture in preparation for our essay final. No good. Enjoy the beautiful weather and some tunes to go along with it!
Musical selections for the week:
So it's been far too long since my last post and I sincerely apologize. Most of you know how ridiculous my schedule has been, but that's not much of an excuse. Up until last Wednesday I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was super stressed with school and it was starting to make me physically sick. And then the thought of me getting sick stressed me out even more so it was pretty much a vicious cycle that ended with me being completely burnt out and really just wanting to curl up in a dark room and cry.
However, I did super well on the MFAT and I might have a job here in Springfield and if that works out I have a place to live too. I literally got all this news within about 10 minutes of each other. It was such an amazing feeling to have all that weight lifted from me. I literally felt like I was alive again.
I have really been trying to work on not worrying lately. It's something I really struggle with. Stress really messes me up. When I get stressed, I can't eat or sleep which makes it even worse. I think Jon Foreman said it best in his song
"Your Love Is Strong". "Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need. You know what I need." Seriously. God knows what I need. Even now. He has it under control.
It's really funny that as I'm writing this blog about stress I've received multiple stress inducing phone calls. I can feel my stomach churning and I am trying really hard to breathe. I need to learn to give it over to God. Someone once told me, "You can't do anything to mess up God's plans for your life." That's super encouraging. I just need to remind myself of that.
Psalm 18:30
As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
Psalm 33:11
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Proverbs 16:1
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.
I'm just going to pray it out.
Quick update on my life:
- Things are good. School is almost over. 17 days until graduation. That's really strange to me.
- Brett and I had our first date last week, over 3 weeks after we made it official thanks to my schedule, and it was absolutely incredible. I can't believe how blessed I am by him.
- The Rescue was Saturday and it was really great. 3 cities are still waiting to be rescued. They've been out for over 70 hours. I wish I could be in Wichita.
- I have recently rediscovered my love for libraries. I love the smell of old books. I wish that came in a can. The scent is so distracting that I can't really go there to study. I think I'm going to call Febreeze and suggest "Original Copies of Jane Austen's Anthology" as their newest scent. Books that old have to smell awesome.
- I am still really working on opening up to people and being vulnerable and it's getting easier. Even just through the Bible Study I lead with Jayci, I can see how God is totally giving me some awesome opportunities to open up to people and to offer the experiences of my life, good and bad, as words of advice and proof of His unfailing love for us. It still sucks sometimes but I can definitely feel myself stretching and growing and that feels really great.
- It's been really cool to see God's plan for my life unfolding a little in the past week or so. With the possibility that I might be staying in Springfield this summer, several opportunities to get involved in different things have come up. One being to help out with The Magdalene Project board of directors. I would love for this to be a reality. I think I'm still trying to guard my heart a little though. I don't want to be super let down if something ends up not working out. I totally trust God to put me wherever He wants me. I am really excited about it and I am trying to stay excited instead of getting nervous.
That's a quick overview. Now that school has begrudgingly given my life back to me, I will probably be updating more frequently. All that to say, you won't have to suffer through any more ridiculously long posts like this.
So, if you've gotten this far, take a deep breath (inhale through the nose, hold for 5 seconds, exhale through the mouth).
Now... tell me that didn't feel awesome. :)
Soundtrack of my life, as of late:
"Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg
"Near To You" by A Fine Frenzy
"Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" by Muse
So, I like keys. Like a lot. It's something that just started about a year and a half ago. People ask me why and I still don't really know. They cover the walls of my room and I'm just now starting to figure it out... maybe.
The last 6 months or so I've started to realize how closed up I am. For the most part, I consider myself a pretty open person. However, that only goes so far. Just within the last month or so it has become blatantly obvious how guarded I am. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Except now that the time has come for me to start letting down my guard, I am really struggling.
So, I'm thinking part of my obsession with keys, subconsciously of course, is that I'm locked up really tight. I have really been fighting the urge to run away and hide from the world because if I'm being vulnerable then I'm making myself open to being hurt. And that is really scary. I'm much better at not letting people in. I have a hard time understanding all these concepts. I need to realize that I deserve to be loved. That seems simple enough, right? Ha. But I'm working on it...
The last few weeks have been awesome. Spring break was incredible. It was so much fun being a tourist in my hometown. I haven't had that much fun at home in a really long time. Staying up late every night, watching tons of movies, and just hanging out was something I totally needed. School is getting crazy. Inevitably. Graduation is 37 days away and I have no idea what I'm going to be doing. That's scary. And kind of exciting.
All in all, my life is really great right now. I am so blessed.
songs from "Recently Played"...
"Lock and Key" by Sandra McCracken (title comes from this song)
"Goodbye Waves and Driveways" by The Rocket Summer
"If I Fell" by The Beatles performed by Evan Rachel Wood (Across The Universe Soundtrack)
"We cannot do everything in Africa, but doing nothing is not an option." -Lee H. Hamilton
Last night, at our college group, we watched the Nooma video, Store. Throughout the video Rob Bell talks about anger and the things that make us angry and whether or not that helps the situation. Then he starts talking about things that it's okay to be angry with and how Jesus used his anger to fix things and make the world better.
At one point he starts talking about our purpose. He suggests that when trying to find your purpose or career in life that instead of looking at what we love to do, we should look at what makes us angry.
Woah.
Like, for real.
That pretty much just changed my life.
I am starting to get that feeling I had in January of 2007 when I couldn't stand to be here any longer. There's an organization called Dusty Feet Ministries. They use the quote, "The dust of Africa will never leave the soles of your feet." I can't describe to you how true that is.
My first trip to Africa literally changed my life. I have never been the same and I never will be. I will never be able to walk past a jewelry store without thinking about the slaves that are digging the diamonds out of mines. I will never be able to look at a pair of tennis shoes without thinking of the people making them who can't afford to buy them with year's worth of income. I can't walk into a grocery store without thinking of the thousands of people that die every day from starvation.
I am so burdened by these thoughts and it makes it really hard to be here sometimes. I know that God is totally working in my life right now and I am so excited at all the things He has planned for me. Now, I just have to wait.
Tunes!
"Ain't No Reason" by Brett Dennen (where the title comes from... awesome video!)
"When the Saints" by Sara Groves
"All I Need" by Radiohead (the video doesn't really go with the song but it is incredible)
winsome abandon
Yes... TOMS wedges. Why were these not out before my wedding? Lame.
