I am old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough...

Posted by c3 , Thursday, December 31, 2009 10:50 AM


I can't believe that today is the last day of 2009.

Absolutely blows my mind.

This year has been full of big moments for me. I started dating the most amazing man, I graduated from college, watched my brother graduate from high school, got a big girl job, got engaged to said amazing man, got rid of the big girl job, got a job doing something I absolutely love, helped plan an amazing women's conference, got married, celebrate my best friend getting engaged...

This year has been full of milestones. I gained a ton of family who are all absolutely wonderful. My new extended family is nothing like my extended family.

I could never have imagined what God had in store for me this year. I think of celebrating New Years in St. Louis with friends and just being carefree and excited for the future. It's crazy to think about how much has changed in just a year. It hasn't been easy, by any means. I don't really like change. I like being comfortable and knowing what's going to happen and when. I like to have a schedule and stick to it. This year has definitely tested me in that respect. I have constantly been in transition. Trying to figure out how to go from having been single for a very long time to being in a relationship, figuring out what to do post graduation, moving twice, having two jobs since May...

But I couldn't be happier. I have been stretched much further than I thought possible. I have been stressed to the point of having hives. I have at many times just wanted everything to to stop. But I am a better person because of it all. I have learned a lot about myself and I am still learning.

I am so excited for the coming year and everything God has in store. I know that things probably won't be slowing down anytime soon (Brett and I have only slept in our house 3 nights since the wedding) but I am learning to deal with that. So for now, I am going to eat breakfast with my family, play Wii Resort, and not think about all the thank you cards I have to write. I love you all!

Light by The Rocket Summer... such a perfect song! Check out the lyrics:

All I needed was a light in the darkest place
I've ever been in all my life
As I try to find my way in the changing seasons of my life
And my eyes don't see the things I'm living for have been course
Are they done? Are they just?
They give in

I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough
I'm young enough to know that I can ever be too old enough to trust you
Higher (and higher)
I want to go away with you
Some say your fire (your fire)
Is through
But I don't wanna think that way
So you lost your job and your girl
And it crushed your soul
And while you're standing at the fork in the road
So you wet your finger hold it up
There's no wind there telling you where you should go
So you try, try to trust
While you're bedridden

I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough
I'm young enough to know that I can never be too old enough to trust you
Higher (and higher)
I want to go away with you
Some say your fire (your fire)
Is through
But I don't...
Wanna...

I am yours, do what you wish
I am yours, I am yours and I know this
Whatever happens next is in your hands, in your plans
Nothing less
In everything there is a choice
Through the joy, through the pain I will rejoice
I am yours, do what you wish
I am yours, I am yours and I know this

Save me, cuz I need it
And I can't help but feel desperate
My desires seem to be coming to their endings
But I will trust it's not the end
But a great beginning

| 3 comments

I'm a sucker for happy endings...

Posted by c3 , Monday, December 7, 2009 5:44 PM



I think I've discovered the reason I haven't blogged since May... I mostly blogged when I was procrastinating something. I haven't had anything to really put off since then. But now, with less than 5 days until my wedding there are approximately 13 trillion things to do, none of which interest me in the slightest.

It's not that I don't want to get married... I'm just more excited about the marriage than the wedding. A good problem to have, I do believe.

I have been such a sap lately. I know it is partially because of the extremely high amounts of stress but it's just been out of control. I think part of it is also because I know my world as I know it is about to drastically change. I've spent most of the afternoon looking through pictures from my birth until now. Pictures of my family, best friends I haven't talked to in years, grandparents who have passed on, little league sports, birthdays, Christmases, Halloweens,...
It's weird. It's a weird feeling that my name is going to change. That is such a huge part of my identity (I think it probably is for most people). It's just strange. Unexplainable to say the least.

I've really been trying hard the last few days to not stress. Yesterday I just couldn't stop crying. I think it is in part to the fact that I haven't been sleeping well for the last few months. I am just exhausted. I knew we should've eloped.

Next semester I should be able to blog more. I'm going to have to work at it but I'll do my best. For now, I will leave you with some ear candy... I apologize for them being sappy... I've been in wedding playlist mode for weeks now... gross, I know. :)

Lemonade by Chris Rice (where the title came from)
Summer Song by Wavorly
Walk With You by Edwin McCain (I'm dancing with my dad to this at the wedding!)
Mama's Song by Carrie Underwood (I gifted this to my mom on iTunes... she's going to cry. I did too.)
Sweet and Low (acoustic) by Augustana

| 2 comments
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