My side of the house feels really empty. It's surprising how different it is. I really wish I could get an animal. Ha... not a good idea. I need something super low maintenance but with enough personality to actually be worth it. A fish is just not going to cut it at this point. I've kinda always wanted a hedgehog... they're expensive though. I would not name it Sonic. I could get a snake but I don't think I could feed it live mice. I would probably cry every single time. I guess I'll just have to wait until I'm an adult, with an adult life, and an adult schedule. Then I can get a dog.
On another note, this weekend was great. I did nothing, really. I seriously needed it after last week. My whole family played hooky today and we all just hung out and cleaned house. So strange. Shouldn't that be the last thing you do on a day you play hooky? I think so. My brother got his wisdom teeth out this morning. He looks like a chipmunk and now he has an excuse for giving inaudible responses to every question anyone asks him. Time to get back to the real world which tonight consists of homework and cleaning.
Here's some tunes for you.
"Forgive Me" by Missy Higgins
"Top of the World" by Patty Griffin
"Jolene" by The Weepies (where the title comes from)
This week has been nothing short of ridiculous. I've had Ingrid Michaelson singing in my head all week, "All I can do is keep breathing..." That is seriously how I've felt. I hate being in weird moods because it's so unlike me and I don't like how I am and I don't like how other people react to it. It's just not fun. I am slowly learning that I can't always fix everything. As much as I would like to be able to, it doesn't always work like that. That's been really hard for me to grasp this week.
On another note, I'm going home this weekend to talk to my family about moving to S. Korea. I am really dreading it. I know that they will love me and support me no matter what. But it breaks my heart to think that I will miss some really big events in their lives while I'm gone. I realize that high school graduation might not be the biggest deal in the big scope of things, but to my sisters, right now, it is. This is something they've worked hard for and I want to be there more than they can imagine.
This whole "moving to Korea" decision has been really hard for me to make. I really think it's where God wants me but I'm not quite okay with it just yet. I am starting to figure out why I think He wants me there. Over the past 21 years, I have never been too far from home. Obviously, I did go to Africa but I texted my mom everyday while I was there. I find so much security in having my family and friends in close proximity to me. One of the reasons that I chose Missouri State was so that if something happened, I was only an hour and a half from home. It is going to be really hard for me to leave everything I have sought comfort in for my entire life. But maybe that's what I need right now. My biggest fear is that something is going to happen to someone and I am going to be on the other side of the world. Just thinking about it makes me want to put my hands over my ears and start humming so that I can't hear God telling me to go...
But nothing's final yet. I haven't even applied. I'm going to finish my resume and update my testimony and hopefully send it off next week. The coming weeks are going to be really busy. GAL's spring rush will be getting into full swing. I'm co-leading the rush class Bible study. We're going to be covering Nooma videos and I'm SUPER excited! Invisible Children is going to be coming back into town and I am so excited to be helping out with that. Spring break is coming up super fast and that means Kim's wedding will be here way sooner than I'm ready for. And in 90 days I will walk across a stage and recieve a diploma. I seriously cannot believe it has been 4 years since I got here.
I'm going to conclude with some songs that have really been talking to me lately.
"Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson
"Before the Worst" by The Script
"Where the Story Ends (Piano Version)" by The Fray
"Crack the Shutters" by Snow Patrol
"In This Diary" by The Ataris (where this blog title comes from)
